News

Bounty on travellers’ heads confirmed

Rumors of a bounty on the heads of the unruly travellers appear to be true, The Stuffed Herald can confirm. Our Herald was able to secure an exclusive interview with a man wishing to be known only as Winston, who is the owner of the mysterious Continental Hotel.   “Yes, we have received word of a bounty.” He said. “Some independent contractors I am acquainted with have been discussing this offer, but nobody is particularly interested.” Our Herald asked Winston what he thought might be behind the lack of interest…. Read More

Flight crew negotiating shift swap to avoid flying with rowdy tourists

No one wants to deal with the rowdy tourists – not even flight crews. Tonight, Newshub aired an interview held with the group spokesman, John Johnson. Mr Johnson told Newshub he and several members of his family had retreated to the hills above Wellington, and were staying in tents. He claims they fear for their very lives, and dare not show themselves in case they are attacked. “We’re down a lot of money.” He said – perhaps referring to the email scam they were caught out by several days ago…. Read More

Tourists accused of scamming get scammed: “we thought it was legit”

The family of tourists at the centre of a controversial storm this week say that have become victims of an elaborate scam. Soon after speaking with the media, John Johnson, who acted as spokesperson for the group, received an email offering a large sum of money. “It was from the Duke of Westminster, Hugh Grosvenor.” Mr Johnson told The Stuffed Herald. “I thought it was legit and all, because like I said earlier to that other newspaper he’s my grandfather and the tenth richest man in England.” Hugh Grosvenor is 27 years… Read More

Trump “prepared to use deadly force” to get wall built

As the government shutdown enters its third week, Donald Trump has tweeted he is prepared to use deadly force. The tweet was quickly deleted, but not before it was captured in a screenshot. The shutdown is a result of a stalemate between Trump and the Democrats over the controversial border wall. Trump promised a wall during his 2016 Presidential campaign and remains determined to see it built. Unable to secure funding for the build, Trump has refused to sign important bills appropriating funds for the upcoming fiscal year. As a… Read More

Women who spoke out claim Jami-Lee Ross is an Eproctophile

It has been yet another explosive week in politics, with four women anonymously coming forward to claim Jami-Lee Ross bullied and harassed them. Now those women have released another revelation, speaking exclusively to The Stuffed Herald, stating Ross is also an eproctophile. Eproctophilia is a fetish whereby the person derives sexual pleasure and arousal from flatulence. Debate has raged back and forth over who is in the wrong, with a few people supporting Ross, while the majority of the National Party and its supporters appear to back Simon Bridges. The women… Read More

Vape liquid caused the loss of my penis, says New Zealand man

Vaping is becoming an increasingly popular activity but some argue it may also be hazardous to your health, with many opponents calling for the devices and accessories to be regulated in much the same way as cigarettes, particularly the e-liquids. Warnings emerged recently about a vape liquid, made by a Chinese company, which contains erection drugs in the ingredients. The report stated that involuntary erections could last up to two days. Since the news went public, horror stories from unwitting vape fans have continued to grow. It seems the problem is widespread, and… Read More

Bridges is “definitely framing” Ross, insider says

The political world is in an uproar today following Simon Bridges’ announcement the person behind the spending leak has been identified, but an insider claims the accused is innocent. Following the conclusion of their internal investigation, National released a statement this afternoon at a press conference that their prime suspect is fellow MP Jami-Lee Ross. However Ross has hit back today with a series of tweets, warning his followers prior to the announcement that Bridges was going to “try and pin his leak inquiry on me.” He has followed the initial… Read More

White woman who called police on black babysitter may be part of underground reporting ring

In the latest installment of the White Women Calling Police on Black People saga, a white woman has called police on a black babysitter. Corey Lewis had been out with his two charges, who happened to be white, when he noticed a white woman watching him. The woman first confronted Mr Lewis in the parking lot of a Walmart, the Stuffed Herald understands. She asked the children if they were ok, before following him home – nearly an hour’s drive away. She placed a 911 call and the police showed… Read More

“Part of an underground fight club” real reason behind Hillcrest incident revealed

An insider claims the brawl outside the Hillcrest Branch of The Warehouse last Saturday was ‘legit’ and those involved are part of an underground fight club. An onlooker filmed part of the incident and uploaded it to social media. Since then, debate has raged over whether the reaction – allegedly due to a shoplifting attempt – was justified. In the wake of a second onlooker coming forward to defend the actions of the staff, Rob P* has spoken out to tell us the real story. “There’s this fight club that… Read More

Fuel companies undermining protest movement, claims whistleblower

In the wake of Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern’s about-face regarding fuel prices on Monday, claims have emerged that fuel companies are resorting to spreading dissent in order to counter opposition to continued price hikes. Ardern came out swinging this week, putting the blame on fuel companies for skyrocketing prices and accusing them of ‘fleecing’ New Zealanders at the pump. This announcement came as a surprise to some, given her assertion last week that the rapidly rising prices wouldn’t hurt New Zealanders much because the Government was giving them an average… Read More