News

“We are the E-Scooter Gnomes” – Towing company

A towing company has been outed as uplifting Lime scooters and bikes from Auckland’s streets and demanding a ransom of two hundred dollars for their return, according to Newshub. The Stuffed Herald has undertaken an investigation in order to discover the real reason e-transport devices are being snatched from the streets, and to many New Zealanders, the answer may not come as a surprise . In Newshub’s article, Auckland Towing claims that they are taking the electric scooters and bikes at the behest of “their clients” and that the uplifts… Read More

Youths ready to take on Baby Boomers in ‘heaviest drinkers’ stoush

Youths of New Zealand, it’s time for an uprising. Take the power, and the booze, back. A secret Facebook group has been created to prevent Baby Boomers from usurping the title of “biggest drinkers” from New Zealand’s young people. An article published yesterday caused an uproar when it was suggested Baby Boomers are more likely to engage in harmful drinking behaviors than youths. Baby Boomers is the term given to people born between 1946 and 1964. By comparison, today’s youth would be Generation Z, born between the late 1990s and… Read More

Stuff News launches new “Seek and Destroy” Squad

Stuff news, in an unprecedented act of gutter journalism, has launched a new form of reporting today. The Seek and Destroy Squad aims to ‘name and shame’ persons who are not yet suspected of any criminal activity, in an attempt to stir up hostility against the named person. The goals of the squad resemble a vigilante approach, where a target is selected and subjected to ‘street justice’ rather than going through due process. An article on the house explosion that occurred in Christchurch on Friday, published this morning, targeted a… Read More

Napier man top contender for Deadbeat Dad award

A Napier man who made a public post on Facebook bragging about his novel approach to discipline is a top nominee for the title of Deadbeat Dad of the year. Damian Belcher became upset when he found out his teenage daughter had left the property without his knowledge or permission and stayed out all night with a male companion, returning early the following morning. He later confronted her about the issue and was further aggrieved by her response, which he described in his public post as an ” ‘I don’t… Read More

“I won’t do anything unless God approves” – Israel Folau

Following on from the controversies this week over his post on social media regarding people he declared were ‘going to hell’, Israel Folau has doubled down on his statements despite his career hanging in the balance. Folau has been quoted as saying he will give up rugby “if that is what God wants” and that he believes God is in control of all things. Now, an insider close to the man is saying that Folau is ready to hand his life completely over to the Lord God. “He has truly… Read More

Militant Vegan demands justice for baby opossum

A militant vegan is outraged at footage released by the University of Michigan which shows a giant tarantula devouring a small opossum in the Peruvian Jungle. Researchers were excited by the find and documented the encounter as part of their ongoing research into the wide variety of species living in the famous jungle. Seeing a spider capture and eat a similarly-sized animal is rare, said one of the researchers. An article discussing the event was published in the scholarly journal Amphibian and Reptile conservation. Backlash on twitter Although researchers were… Read More

Lime company may appeal to Human Rights Commission

Lime may appeal to the Human Rights Commission if councils do not immediately reinstate their permits to operate,  an insider says. Auckland council decided to temporarily suspend Lime’s permit on Friday, following recurring safety issues with the scooters. Dunedin council made a similar call on the same day. A prompt on the Lime app now begs users to email the council and demand the decision be reversed. Unfortunately for Lime, although Auckland council has so far received more than 4000 emails regarding the issue, not all of them are in support of… Read More