Posts in World

Militant Vegan demands justice for baby opossum

A militant vegan is outraged at footage released by the University of Michigan which shows a giant tarantula devouring a small opossum in the Peruvian Jungle. Researchers were excited by the find and documented the encounter as part of their ongoing research into the wide variety of species living in the famous jungle. Seeing a spider capture and eat a similarly-sized animal is rare, said one of the researchers. An article discussing the event was published in the scholarly journal Amphibian and Reptile conservation. Backlash on twitter Although researchers were… Read More

Trump “prepared to use deadly force” to get wall built

As the government shutdown enters its third week, Donald Trump has tweeted he is prepared to use deadly force. The tweet was quickly deleted, but not before it was captured in a screenshot. The shutdown is a result of a stalemate between Trump and the Democrats over the controversial border wall. Trump promised a wall during his 2016 Presidential campaign and remains determined to see it built. Unable to secure funding for the build, Trump has refused to sign important bills appropriating funds for the upcoming fiscal year. As a… Read More

White woman who called police on black babysitter may be part of underground reporting ring

In the latest installment of the White Women Calling Police on Black People saga, a white woman has called police on a black babysitter. Corey Lewis had been out with his two charges, who happened to be white, when he noticed a white woman watching him. The woman first confronted Mr Lewis in the parking lot of a Walmart, the Stuffed Herald understands. She asked the children if they were ok, before following him home – nearly an hour’s drive away. She placed a 911 call and the police showed… Read More

Donald Trump is waging war against plagiarism and wants to make it a capital offense

Donald Trump has today declared a new war, this time against plagiarism. In a recent tweet, Trump expresses outrage at the apparent hijacking of a book his son, Donald Trump Jr., has been attempting in vain to have published. “…an almost identical book to be released, but not by my son! Plagiarists should be hung!” declares the tweet. Trump ends the mini-rant by asserting he intends to make the “travesty” a capital offense, before signing off with his trademark #MAGA. Trump’s sudden opposition to plagiarism may strike some as ironic,… Read More

Florida officials declare open season on rappers

Florida officials have today confirmed that rapper-hunting season is open following the takedown of up-and-coming performer Xxxtentacion. Known for his distinctive dreadlocks, often piled on top of his head and dyed, it is reported that the hunters fired at him from a moving vehicle. This form of hunting, often carried out at night with the use of powerful lights to illuminate the path in front (spotlighting) is prohibited in most cases in the Sunshine State. Officials are investigating the claim regarding how the specimen was taken, with a spokesman for… Read More