A man recently convicted of manufacturing meth for supply has given a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘money laundering’.

Aussie drongo Alan Tran was caught with multiple pellets full of meth, and was sentenced recently in the Auckland District Court.

When a house in South Auckland was raided by police, they found a cache of cash hidden inside a dishwasher.

When asked why he thought that would be a good place to hide his ill-gotten funds, Tran said,

“Well, mate, ya know. I had to launder it, like, and me washing machine’s broke. So I figured the dishwasher would do.”

The laundered cash. Image source: Stuff

Tran was then asked if this method had been successful.

“Nah, not at first. I left all the notes loose and they jammed up the works. But I started putting a rubber band around ’em and then she was beaut.”

And how did the money stand up to the trials of being run through a dishwasher? Did it do the job?

“Squeaky clean,” said Tran. “Even had that nice lemony smell, ’cause I used them tablets with the wee ball.”

Our Herald asked a police officer if many criminals took money laundering so literally, and what some of the most memorable attempts were.

“One guy took his cash to a laundromat. He had it in those bags women put their bras and stuff in,” the officer said.

“But he popped out to have a blast on his pipe and forgot to collect it. A member of the public discovered the cash and called us.”

Another memorable incident – more of a fail – involved a lack of understanding of basic chemistry.

“A guy had heard white vinegar and bleach were both excellent for cleaning. He decided to combine them and ended up poisoning himself.”

Combining bleach and white vinegar causes a chemical reaction which produces chlorine gas – a highly toxic substance which can be fatal in high concentrations or under prolonged exposure.

“To top it off, the bleach destroyed the money,” the officer added. “So he was broke, hospitalised and then enjoyed a stint in Her Majesty’s Hotel.”

At least Tran had more sense, even if he didn’t get to keep the money.

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