Geoff Booth has become a sensation (and not in a good way) after he singled out a man with a tā moko and referred to him as a member of the Mongrel Mob.

Hailing from Waitaki, Booth made a post on Twitter under the account name GeoffsNZViews, claiming that “Mongrel Mob criminals” were at a recent protest in Auckland.

He chose to share an image which prominently featured Auckland man Kia Kanuta alongside the controversial tweet.

Auckland chef Kia Kanuta at the Black Lives Matter march in Aotea Square over the weekend. He was racially profiled by Geoff Booth on Twitter.

In the face of the backlash, Booth has retreated, making his twitter profile private. This makes it difficult for everyday New Zealanders to see his “real facts” and “ruthless honesty”, and renders his profile statement repugnant.

Geoff Booth has gone into hiding, following the onslaught of True Facts and Ruthless Honesty from New Zealanders

Our Herald reached out to Geoff Booth, inviting him to give us a statement, but he has declined to respond.

In lieu of an actual interview, our Heralds got together and tried to imagine how an interview with Geoff Booth would go.

We descend dusty steps into a bunker below the house. It’s stocked with non-perishable food items, toilet paper, cookers, and other resources. A weapons locker sits in one corner, appropriately secured. Safety first.

Stuffed Herald: So Geoff, what made you post that tweet with that particular photo?

Geoff Booth: You’ve taken it out of context! I didn’t even see him!

SH: But he’s prominently in the foreground…

GB: I didn’t see him, okay?! I meant someone else!

SH: So who were you referring to?

GB: The mob! Duh!

SH: And where are they? The mob? Are they in the photo?

GB: Yes–no–I don’t know!! The media set me up!

SH: How do you think they set you up?

GB: They’re all leftists trying to shut me down! They’re working with the Antifa! Trump says they’re terrorists, you know.

SH: Do you believe him?

GB: Of course! They’re evil and dangerous! They’re a threat to my values!

SH: And what are those values?

GB: A world where cis men rule the world again! Men these days have all these disgusting feelings, and women are out working, not having babies and having too many opinions!

SH: You believe women should stay at home and keep their opinions to themselves?

GB: They’re trying to be men! They’re the nurturers, they’re supposed to take care of the home and raise my children! They’re meant to obey!

SH: You mentioned cis men specifically. Do you take issue with non-cis men?

GB: There are only two genders and men should be with women! They aren’t women! They’re men! They need to act like it! Give them a gun, it might make them grow some balls!

SH: You equate guns with masculinity?

GB gets up and opens the firearms locker, displaying the weapons within. There is a significant collection of rifles and shotguns. Some look high-powered.

SH: That’s quite a collection. Are they all legal?

GB (looks shifty): Of course they are. Tard.

SH: And these will make men more masculine and inclined to be sexually attracted to women?

GB: Bet yer ass.

SH: Coming back to your original Twitter comment – how do you feel about the backlash?

GB: Fucking trolls.

SH: Why did you make your profile private?

GB: I don’t have to explain to you!

SH: You claimed you’ve received death threats, that you have contacts in the GCSB, and that you’ll ‘trace every URL.’

GB: Yeah, that’s right. I’ve got all their URLs.

SH: Are you sure you don’t mean IPs? You have their IPs?

GB: What? I’m not showing you my ID.

SH: No – an IP is an IP address. You said you had people’s URLs, but a URL is just a link to a webpage. It stands for Uniform Resource Locator. It can’t lead you to identify a person.

GB: Yes it can! The GCSB can track their URLs!

SH: No, really. I think you meant IP addresses. An IP address is a unique string of code assigned to a computer or device that connects to the internet.

GB: You don’t know what you’re taking about! You’re just another Leftist out to get me! Get out of my house before I shoot you!

SH: Do you really have contacts in the GCSB? We can check that, you know.

GB: Get out! I’m the victim! Not them! White lives matter! My white male self matters! I’m the oppressed one here! why can’t you all just leave me alone!!

Geoff Booth breaks down, sobbing. He curls into a ball in the dirt. Our Herald gets up and quietly retreats. The sounds of anguish echo around the room.

Yes, he really claimed to know people in the GCSB and said they would trace every last URL.

This may not have been a real interview, but here at The Stuffed Herald we are pretty good at making shit up, and we think this dramatisation is pretty close to how an actual Q&A would have gone.

Disclaimer: In case it's not immediately obvious to you, we're a satire website. The content above is meant for entertainment purposes and contains hyperbole, blatantly false statements and should not be taken as fact. If you're upset by some of the content, we suggest immediately heading to your doctor and asking for a prescription for some concrete pills, and perhaps a therapist to help you figure out why you are upset by strangers' opinions on the internet.

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