Youths of New Zealand, it’s time for an uprising. Take the power, and the booze, back.

A secret Facebook group has been created to prevent Baby Boomers from usurping the title of “biggest drinkers” from New Zealand’s young people.

An article published yesterday caused an uproar when it was suggested Baby Boomers are more likely to engage in harmful drinking behaviors than youths.

Baby Boomers is the term given to people born between 1946 and 1964. By comparison, today’s youth would be Generation Z, born between the late 1990s and early 2000s. Gen Z is the demographic cohort which follows Millennials, or Gen Y.

The outrage at the article’s implication, unlike the article itself, did not favour or exclude any particular age group.

On Facebook, Boomers, Millennials and Gen Xers alike were united in rubbishing the claims made that Baby Boomers were more likely to engage in harmful drinking than the rest of the population.

Gen Z, however, was suspiciously quiet.

This is because they were carefully building an underground network in the form of a new, secret Facebook group which aims to retake the previously undisputed title that has been theirs for so long.

Youth
Youth have created a secret group on Facebook to combat the belief that Baby Boomers are heavier drinkers

Secret Facebook groups are hidden from searches. The only way to gain access is to be invited by someone who is already a member of the group.

The Stuffed Herald was given exclusive access, on the condition we did not post any screenshots of the goings-on.

We were, however, permitted to name the group. The working title is, “Taking back the bottle – the youth drinking revolution”.

Organised and ready to respond

Our Herald was surprised to find the youths involved in the group are highly organised.

Multiple house parties are being planned, and a file lists a number of known contacts who are of legal age and can procure alcohol for the not-yet-eighteen participants.

Several “drink-ins” are being discussed, which would involve large groups of youths amassing in a public place and drinking alcohol in excess peacefully as a show of defiance.

There is also talk of challenging “the old farts” to drinking competitions, with some seasoned youth drinkers confident they can “drink nana and granddad under the table”.

“We constantly hear about all the things Boomers have done for this country and how they have paid their taxes and deserve special treatment,” states the group description.

“But we disagree – the Boomers have had their time, and now it’s our turn. Sit the fuck down, oldies!”

At the time of writing this article, the group has amassed nearly ten thousand members, who claim to range in age from fifteen to twenty.

Winston Peters was reportedly added briefly to the group as a joke, although as he was born in 1945 he is not technically a Baby Boomer but a member of what is known as the ‘Silent Generation’.

The youths involved plan to begin taking action this weekend, with events launching around the country from Saturday night.


Disclaimer: In case it's not immediately obvious to you, we're a satire website. The content above is meant for entertainment purposes and contains hyperbole, blatantly false statements and should not be taken as fact. If you're upset by some of the content, we suggest immediately heading to your doctor and asking for a prescription for some concrete pills, and perhaps a therapist to help you figure out why you are upset by strangers' opinions on the internet.

Leave A Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *